Gerald’s Game

Gerald (Bruce Greenwood) and Jessie (Carla Gugino) plan a vacation in a remote cabin to work on their marital problems. But Gerald is an asshole and perhaps a little clueless, so he brings out the handcuffs and chains her arms to the bedposts, leaving her splayed and helpless. She’s not into this, and they argue for a bit before he agrees to free her. Except he has a heart attack and dies before that happens, so she’s stuck there, waiting for a rescue that’s probably not coming, for some unlikely idea that might allow her to save herself, or for death. I’m not sure that the epilogue is necessary, as takes a pretty hard left turn from what precedes it, but it’s otherwise a dark, creepy, icky, and otherwise pretty doggone good adaptation of a Stephen King novel many thought to be unfilmable.

 

Gilbert

Gilbert Gottfried is a comedian with an abrasive voice and who frequently has an equally abrasive act. He’s vulgar and insensitive and doesn’t consider anything out of bounds. But at home, he’s different. He’s got a sweet, loving wife and two cute kids. He’s got two sisters that he visits on an almost daily basis when he’s not traveling. And to call him frugal would be an understatement. This totally engrossing documentary shows him at home and on the road, and it’s mostly hilarious in appropriate and inappropriate ways, but it’s also very personal and touching. It’s the kind of film that few people might want, but everyone will love.

 

Girl at the Door (short film)

Hye-ri and her little brother spend most nights cowering in fear in her room. Their dad becomes violent and aggressive, presumably from drinking. Unfortunately, their mom isn’t as lucky when it comes to evading his abuse. Hye-ri decides that she needs to learn wrestling techniques so she can put a stop to his reign of terror. It’s a good South Korean short, and it pairs very well with Mom and Dad.

Mom and Dad

Something is causing parents to attack and try to kill their children. It only applies to their own children; they’re indifferent to, or perhaps even protective of, other people’s children as long as they don’t get in the way. Nicolas Cage and Selma Blair just happen to be the parents of two of those kids, and they succumb to those urges. It’s an immensely fun movie overall, but Nicolas Cage going full-on Nicolas Cage at many points throughout the film really gives it that additional push of awesomeness.

Ben Stiller’s non-comedy films are kind of a mixed bag, but I suppose that’s also true of his comedy films, too. But this one is particularly rough, and it’s hard to understand how this one even got made.

Stiller plays Brad Sloan, who runs a non-profit organization and has made a pretty good life for himself. He and his wife Melanie (Jenna Fischer) live a comfortable living even though she works for the government and their very smart and musically gifted son Troy (Austin Abrams) is planning to go to an ivy-league school in the fall. But when he compares himself to his very wealthy and successful college friends (including Michael Sheen, Luke Wilson, Jermaine Clement, and Mike White), he considers himself a failure. And when he takes Troy on a trip to Boston to check out a number of potential colleges, he spends pretty much the entire time moping about it and the realization that he’s really not even all that close with those friends anymore.

This movie is nothing short of a white privilege pity party of first-world problems. It does call itself out on this about halfway through when a college student (Shazi Raja) tries to give him a reality check, and yet Brad continues to wallow in his middle-class funk for at least another half an hour before he reaches the obvious and unsatisfying conclusion that his friends’ lives aren’t all that great after all (or at least that they aren’t great people), while his life isn’t all that bad. It’s dull and tone deaf and eminently skippable.

Nothing a Little Soap and Water Can’t Fix (short film)

A supercut of movie bath scenes, especially in horror movies. Related scenes from all aspects of bath-taking are interspersed, from turning the water on to undressing to getting in to soaking, and then to pleasure and pain. It’s fun to be reminded of many of these films, and it’s an entertaining if insignificant work.

 

78/52

Psycho is one of the greatest films of all time, horror or otherwise, and the shower scene is its centerpiece. This documentary focuses on that one scene, both in the context of Psycho itself, as well as its impact on and influence over other films. It’s got everything you’d expect to see in a documentary about that one scene, from a breakdown of the shots to Bernard Herrmann’s score to what exactly is and isn’t shown, but it’s also full of interviews with film lovers putting it into both historical and personal context. It’s clearly a labor of love and a must-see movie for anyone who loves Psycho, Hitchcock, or film in general.

 

Your Date Is Here (short film)

A mother and daughter sit down to play a game, and it’s an old game the daughter found in the closet that looks like it’s from the 1950s. It’s got a telephone that you can use to talk to potential dates, and they start getting weird, creepy calls. It’s a light, fun short with a good ending.

 

Haunters: The Art of the Scare

Some haunted houses are more extreme than others. Most of them just have people walking through a maze with monsters jumping out at them, but others have more aggressive treatment where people are restrained, waterboarded, shocked, and otherwise tortured. Most of them have a safe word, but at least one doesn’t. This documentary focuses on those extreme haunts, the people who make them, and the people who go through them. It starts off very funny and highly energetic but then becomes increasingly problematic as the lines between fright, assault, and torture get blurred. They seem to attract people with questionable intentions, and there is a glaring lack of discussion on whether or how some of this is even legal, while at least one of them (the one with no safe word, whose proprietor is in it primarily for the videos of terrified people) must repeatedly close down and try his luck elsewhere.

 

Super Dark Times

Zach and Josh are best friends. They’re hanging out with acquaintances Charlie and Daryl when it comes out that Zach’s older brother, who’s joined the Marines and moved away, has a sword in his old room. The boys get the sword and go outside to engage in some ill-advised horseplay, which ends in Daryl getting accidentally stabbed and killed. The other three hide the body and make a pact to keep it a secret. But they still have to deal with the knowledge of what happened. Each of them does that poorly in his own way. It is indeed a dark time, but one well worth seeing for the performances and the conclusion.

 

V.I.P.

There’s a serial killer on the loose in South Korea and elsewhere, and the police are after him. The only problem is that his father is a higher-up from North Korea, and his son is believed to have information about North Korean/Chinese bank accounts, so the Americans (led by Peter Stormare) really want to get their hands on him. Written and directed by Park Hoon-jung (perhaps best known for writing the incredible I Saw the Devil), this film is much more procedural than revenge-driven but is still well worth watching.

 

The Drop-In (short film)

A hairdresser is cleaning up her shop after closing for the day when a woman arrives, asking if she could still get in. The hairdresser relents but soon realizes that the woman isn’t really there for a haircut. Her past has caught up with her. In the span of only a few minutes, the film undergoes multiple transformations into different stories, and while I’m not sure I love where it ends up, it’s definitely an interesting journey to get there.

Jailbreak

The police arrest Playboy, believing him to be the head of a criminal organization, only to learn that he’s just a stooge. But he agrees to make a deal with them and reveal the identity of the woman who’s really in charge in exchange for protection. So the cops take him to prison to put him in solitary confinement until he can testify and the gang can be taken down. But the real head lady doesn’t care for that and uses her connections inside the prison to orchestrate a riot to get to Playboy. The handful of police officers who had been escorting him are trapped inside the prison and must use their martial arts skills, especially the Cambodian bokator fighting style, to first get to Playboy, and then to get themselves to safety. It’s like a Cambodian version of The Raid, and while it’s not as skillfully made, while the attempts at comedy fall pretty flat, and while the fighting isn’t as creative or intense, it still offers a good time and at least a couple of cheer-inducing moments.

Hagazussa: A Heathen’s Curse

Believing her to be a witch, people don’t regard Albrun all that well. She’s harassed whenever she goes out, and the one woman who talks to her doesn’t seem that nice after all. The plot is virtually nonexistent and the pacing glacial, so the film depends entirely on atmosphere, and that is created primarily through bleak imagery and a soundtrack comprised mostly of droning tones. If you saw The Witch and wish it weren’t so modern, cheerful, or action-packed, then Hagazussa may be the movie for you. It is not the movie for me.

 

Letterkenny

A hilarious Canadian TV show about a farmer named Wayne (show creator Jared Keeso), his sister Katy (Michelle Mylett), and his best friend Daryl (aka Dairy, played by Nathan Dales). They live in Letterkenny, Ontario, where jocks play hockey, and the skids do drugs and breakdance in goth attire. We watched a selection of six episodes from the first two seasons:

• S1E1 — Wayne is bummed after the end of a long-term relationship. Dairy suggests that he go to a church group to meet girls, while Katy suggests Tindr, which is confused with Grindr.
• S1E2 — Wayne must repeatedly defend his title as the best fighter in Letterkenny while he and Katy plan a “soft” birthday party for Dairy.
• S1E6 — Wayne discovers marijuana growing on his property and has trouble getting rid of it. Meanwhile, the skids incur the wrath of a lady meth dealer for everyone in town.
• S2E1 — Dairy convinces Wayne be should be president of the agricultural society, Katy starts dating the head skid Stewart, and a couple of hockey jocks move up and find they’re out of their league.
• S2E3 — Katy hires a matchmaker for Wayne, and he goes on a series of dates. Stewart gives Katy the silent treatment but she doesn’t notice, and the skids kick Stewart out of their group.
• S2E6 — Wayne tries to find a stud to impregnate Katy’s dog Stormy, but she keeps attacking all comers. Stewart deals with having been kicked out of the skids, and the hockey jocks find they’re not having as much fun as they used to.

 

Anna and the Apocalypse

It’s Christmas in Scotland, and high school senior Anna (Ella Hunt) and her friends are dealing with all the usual drama, including a theater teacher with a god complex. They frequently deal with it by breaking out into singing and dancing, which is good because they’re putting on a Christmas program at school. But this year is a little more tense than usual because there’s also a zombie outbreak, and the singing and dancing are accompanied by running and fighting and decapitation. It’s a highly entertaining film, especially when it’s in full-on, high-energy mode with creative kills, clever songs, and unexpected turns. It does seem to lose a bit of steam heading into the end of the second act, and they missed a huge opportunity to have singing and dancing zombies, but it’s still a must-watch movie for anyone who thinks that a Christmas zombie musical might be a must-watch movie.

 

Rabbit

Maude and Cleo are identical twins (both played by Adelaide Clemens). Cleo goes missing and is presumed dead, but Maude keeps having visions of her location and captors. She convinces Cleo’s fiancé and a friend to accompany her on a trip to find her, and they eventually end up at a trailer park where they find a couple who claims to have seen her. Then things go in a different direction. It’s a fascinating film that seems to go off on a tangent for a while before reinventing itself into a different kind of movie, and I like the second more than the first.

 

The End of Decay (short film)

A man confined to a wheelchair has decided to use himself as a guinea pig for a procedure he hopes will allow him to walk again. The treatment is successful but has side effects. It’s a well-made short with some good effects, although it does seem like there’s a little too much unnatural exposition used to let the audience in on what’s going on.

 

Applecart

Casey (Brea Grant) has planned a family trip to a mountain cabin in the hope that it will do some good for her ailing husband James (AJ Bowen). But shortly after they arrive, they find a woman (Barbara Crampton) lying in the snow in need of resuscitation. They don’t know who she is, but we do thanks to a political advertisement on TV: she’s running for president. And also thanks to television programming in the form of a true crime program, we’re also clued into some bad things that are about to go down at the cabin. It’s a good concept for a modern kind of Rashomon story with multiple perspectives, and the show within the movie is particularly enjoyable as it’s dripping with satire, although I probably would have liked the movie more if they had relied less on the supernatural.

Thoroughbreds

Lily (Anya Taylor-Joy) is a rich girl who hates her stepfather and is trying not to let on that her life isn’t going as well as she would like. Amanda (Olivia Cooke) is a rich girl who is devoid of emotion, is charged with animal cruelty for the unconventional way she put her horse down, and makes no attempt to hide her problems from the world. They become unlikely friends and decide that they might need to take drastic action to deal with Lily’s dislike of her stepfather. Also featuring Anton Yelchin as a drug dealer whose criminal past is interfering with his future aspirations, it’s a fun dark comedy that is well acted. It progresses slowly but is never boring, and definitely doesn’t make the mistake of showing too much.

 

The Passenger (short film)

A former cosmonaut must deal with life back on Earth after an incident long ago. Things keep going wrong for him, and he drinks a lot. We’re stuck watching this guy mope for longer than necessary before the reveal, which is not nearly enough to make up for the tedium of what comes before it.

 

Salyut-7

The titular Soviet space station has taken a hit and lost power and is spinning on all axes. Fortunately, it’s currently unmanned, but without power, it’s only a matter of time until it falls out of its orbit and crashes to Earth, possibly in an inhabited area. And to make matters worse, it looks like those pesky Americans are scrambling to launch a shuttle with a cargo bay conveniently just big enough to hold the small station. The Russians must get there first and fix the station to save Soviet pride, and if they can’t,  then they’ll need to shoot it down to prevent the Americans from getting their hands on it. Based on a true story, it’s quite entertaining but surprisingly melodramatic,  almost to the point of being ridiculous.

 

Two-Sentence Horror Stories: Singularity (short film)

A female-identifying transgendered person decides to continue modifying herself by implanting an antenna into her arm that gives her body access to the internet. She can’t consciously use it yet, but she’s definitely getting signals, and then she starts seeing things and suspects that her body might be communicating with others on her behalf. It’s an interesting idea encapsulated in a well-made film.

Vampire Clay

An art teacher at a small, rural Japanese school comes across a mysterious bag of clay. Her students start using it, and then weird things start happening. The clay begins to take them over. It’s an interesting premise that’s played for laughs at the beginning, and it works well then, despite some pretty crappy effects. But then it starts trying to explain things, and it loses its charm well before it finally comes to an end (then keeps going for a while longer as it tacks on additional unnecessary scenes).

Austin-based filmmaker Bob Byington has been on a roll lately. I didn’t care for Harmony and Me, which was the first of his films that I saw, but I enjoyed RSO [Registered Sex Offender] and 7 Chinese Brothers, and I really liked Somebody Up There Likes Me quite a bit. Byington continues the trend with his latest film, Infinity Baby.

At some point in the hypothetical future, lawmakers will pass a law that bans abortion but loosens restrictions around fetal stem cell research. One failed experiment resulted in around a thousand babies that don’t seem to age, so they’ll stay infants their whole lives. To deal with this, the company that owns the research lab created a subsidiary named Infinity Baby whose goal is to ensure that all of these babies get adopted. Any takers will be paid $20,000 for a three-month trial, and it’s not even that much of a hassle because the babies don’t really cry all that much, and they have special medication that only requires them to eat once a week, which also results in them only pooping once a week. Even still, it’s not easy to find people who will sign up to adopt a perpetual baby, and salesmen Larry and Malcolm (Kevin Corrigan and Martin Starr) aren’t having great luck. Meanwhile, their boss Ben (Kieran Culkin) is more concerned with forming short-term relationships (with characters played by Noël Wells, Trieste Kelly Dunn, Zoe Graham, and Martha Kelly) that he tanks when things start getting too serious, with the help of his mom (Megan Mullally). And Ben’s boss/uncle Neo (Nick Offerman) just spends all his time cleaning up after everyone’s mistakes.

It’s surprisingly difficult to concisely describe the plot for this movie because even though it’s only 80 minutes long, it keeps evolving and beginning new storylines. The one constant is that it’s consistently funny, often in dry and understated ways. It does seem a little disjointed at times, and it may well have been created from an unrelated set of funny ideas that were loosely stitched together, but it all does come together at the end.

It does occasionally have a kind of rough “indie” feel to it, especially at the beginning, and that might be off-putting to someone who isn’t used to that kind of thing (and maybe even to people who are). That idea may be even further bolstered by the movie being black and white rather than in color, for no apparent reason. But people who stick with it will probably have their efforts rewarded by what is ultimately a pretty entertaining film.

I’ve never read the book version of It, and at nearly 1500 pages (or 45 hours, if you go the audiobook route), I probably won’t anytime soon. I have seen the 1990 TV miniseries, but it’s been a very long time, and I didn’t remember a lot of the specifics going into the new film. Still, I remember liking the TV version, and I let myself get my hopes up for the new movie, only to have them dashed by actually watching it.

It’s set in the small town of Derry, Maine. The town has a history of losing children, and they seem to be in a spurt of abductions right now, except that none of the adults who haven’t lost children seem to notice or care. But it’s definitely noticed by other kids, especially those who are already at the bottom of the pecking order, getting bullied at school and not having a much better time at home with their parents. Each has had run-ins with some kind of evil force, often in the form of a clown who calls himself Pennywise (played by Bill Skarsgård), but sometimes in the form of a leper or a scary woman from a painting. The kids decide that there’s strength in numbers and that they need to band together to fight whatever monster is coming after them.

It is a movie that’s much scarier in theory than in reality. It tries to create an atmosphere of creepiness, but really just ends up telegraphing all of its attempted scares way in advance so that there’s no surprise or fear whenever it finally arrives. While I suppose it is commendable that it doesn’t rely on jump scares, they might have actually been even more effective than what we get. Unless you have a particular fear of clowns, you may find that Pennywise is not even slightly scary, and probably more annoying than anything else. And the characters that have the most potential for scariness (including a sadistic, sociopathic bully and an icky, molestery father) aren’t really given a chance to develop that to its full potential.

If you watch a lot of horror, then you’ll find that It is sorely lacking in originality. Most of the time, it feels very much like a rip-off of A Nightmare on Elm Street, with the villain only effective because the children fear him, and relying heavily on hallucination to fuel that fear. There’s even a direct, albeit clumsy, reference to the series with A Nightmare on Elm Street 5 shown on the marquee of a movie theater around town. There’s also a bloody bathroom scene in which the gushing blood is initially reminiscent of the elevator scene in The Shining before focusing on a girl completely covered in the stuff in what has to be a direct and intentional reference to Carrie. And most of the downtime, character-developmenty scenes featuring just the kids might as well have been taken directly from a more modern version of Stand by Me. At least those references make more sense, as Stephen King wrote the book for each of them, but they still feel pretty forced and lazy.

When you take away the potential for scariness and originality, what’s left is not very exciting. It’s just a bunch of kids who swear a lot and who do really stupid things like go off alone after they’ve decided that they need to stick together. I’m sure the book goes much deeper into the kids’ characters and backgrounds, as well as why the adults are clueless and/or apathetic, and more about Pennywise, but we’re left to fill in the blanks for ourselves. It is not necessarily terrible, but it’s also not very good.

Artificial intelligence has always been a popular film subject, but it seems especially popular in recent years with great movies like Ex Machina and Her, and not-so-great movies like Morgan and Chappie. AI is becoming much more a part of our lives and its potential is becoming much more clear to the general population. So I had high hopes for Marjorie Prime based on nothing more than the knowledge that it was an arthouse movie that had something to do with AI, but sadly it wasn’t what I had hoped it would be.

The film initially focuses on Marjorie (Lois Smith), whose memory is failing in her waning years. Her daughter Tess (Geena Davis) and son-in-law Jon (Tim Robbins) have gotten Marjorie a holographic, artificially intelligent representation of her late husband to keep her company, to keep her sharp, and to keep her in line. Except it’s her husband as she remembers him: a young man (played by Jon Hamm), rather than the aged version that she buried.

It’s hard to say much more about the film’s plot without potentially giving things away, but there’s really not much to give away because there’s really not much plot at all. It’s a character-driven movie that’s heavy on dialogue and light on science fiction and artificial intelligence. It could’ve easily been made without any sci-fi at all with only minor tweaks to the story, and that’s not what I wanted or expected.

It turns out that the film is actually based on a play, which is very obvious from watching because it’s comprised of very simple set pieces with lots of dialogue and no action. Actually, it’s no energy of any kind, because lines are rarely delivered in anything above a whisper and with any degree of enthusiasm. And it’s full of repetition and scenes that feel more like padding than something purposeful and meaningful. All of this increases as the movie progresses so that by the end I felt like I was getting virtually nothing from it.

I do think that director Michael Almereyda (who did a modern-day version of Hamlet starring Ethan Hawke that I absolutely love and that’s nothing like Marjorie Prime) got exactly the film and performances that he wanted, so the film isn’t a failure in that regard. Maybe if you go in wanting and expecting a very slow, quiet, and low-key drama, then it’ll be right up your alley. But I just couldn’t get into it.

Wind River (2017; first-time watch) — Cory Lambert (Jeremy Renner) is a fish and wildlife agent who comes across the body of his late daughter’s best friend. Because the body is on a Native American reservation, the FBI is called in, and they send Jane Banner (Elizabeth Olsen) to investigate. She’s clearly passionate about the case but also clearly out of her league, so she enlists Cory’s help in trying to figure out what happened. Full review at https://nawilson.com/2017/08/02/wind-river/.

The Descent (2005; rewatch) — Sarah used to be an adrenaline junkie, but that changed when she lost her husband and daughter in a car accident. But some time has passed, and her friends convince her to go on a cave-exploring trip. But things start to go wrong when one of the cave’s passageways collapses to block the entrance, when we learn that they’re not in the right cave after all, and when we learn that they’re not alone in the cave. It’s a really well-made film with a mix of effective jump scares and good old-fashioned creepiness. Unfortunately, we got the American ending (which cuts off before the much better British ending), dampening what was otherwise a terrific moviegoing experience with a gorgeous 35mm print.

Snakes (aka Fangs aka Holy Wednesday; 1974; rewatch) — Jim “Snakey” Bender (Les Tremayne) spends most of the week on his snake farm out in the country. But every Wednesday, he comes into town for a full day of activities. He gets his groceries from Sis and Bud (Alice Nunn and Bruce Kimball). He gets the schoolchildren to give him small animals that they’ve captured for his snakes, and he entertains the kids with the snakes. He entertains the schoolteacher Cynthia (Bebe Kelly) with a snake in a very different way. He gets a lecture from the Bible-thumping Brother Joy (Marvin Kaplan) on the evils of serpents and corrupting the youth. And he and his best friend Burt (Richard Kennedy) spend the night rocking out to John Philip Sousa records. But then Burt gets married to Ivy (Janet Wood), and Sis, Bud, and Brother Joy blackmail Cynthia into turning the kids against Snakey. They shouldn’t have screwed with Snakey’s Wednesdays. It’s exactly the kind of absurd fun that you want to see out of a 70s snake movie.

Ex-Lady (1933; first-time watch) — It’s the 1930s, and Helen (Bette Davis) doesn’t want to cave to the old-fashioned ideals that everyone else seems to have. She doesn’t believe that two people in love need to marry to be together, and she doesn’t believe that a woman should have to give up her career to serve her man. Eventually, her boyfriend Don (Gene Raymond) is able to convince her to marry him, but she still refuses to give up her job. Don isn’t entirely faithful to Helen, so Helen reciprocates. It’s a pre-code film with a surprisingly modern feel and a good amount of comedy.

Detroit (2017; first-time watch) — In 1967, racial tension was high, and it didn’t take much to get the predominantly black population to riot against the predominantly white police force for their acts of racism and violations of their civil rights. An incident at the Algiers Motel led to a particularly nasty encounter for a lot of people, and this bleak film shows us what went down and its aftermath. Full review at https://nawilson.com/2017/08/04/detroit/.

Sweet Charity (1969; rewatch) — Charity Hope Valentine (Shirley MacLaine) has been down on her luck. She works in a dance hall because that’s the only job she can get. The man she’d hoped to marry pushed her off a bridge and stole her life savings. A promising encounter with a celebrity (played by Ricardo Montalban) ends with her spending the night hiding in the closet from his girlfriend. Then she gets stuck in an elevator with a man (John McMartin) who has an attack of claustrophobia. But then things start to look up for her. It’s a wonderful musical featuring songs like “Big Spender” and “If My Friends Could See Me Now” other notable performers like Sammy Davis, Jr., Chita Rivera, and Ben Vereen, and uncredited appearances by Bud Cort and Toni Basil.

The Dark Tower (2017; first-time watch) — A boy (Tom Taylor) has recurring dreams about a man in black (Matthew McConaughey) trying to use children’s psychic abilities to take down a dark tower that protects the universe, and the gunslinger (Idris Elba) who’s the only man able to face him. But they’re not just dreams, and he soon finds himself mixed up in their battle. It may be Stephen King’s epic eight-volume book series, but it’s been turned into just another young adult movie. Full review at https://nawilson.com/2017/08/06/the-dark-tower/.

Being There (1979; rewatch) — Chance (Peter Sellers) is a very simple man of limited mental facility whose only concerns are gardening and television. He’s been living in an old man’s house all his life and has never been outside, but when the old man dies, he finds himself on his own. He’s accidentally hit by a limousine carrying Eve Rand (Shirley MacLaine), the wife of the mega-rich but very ailing mogul Benjamin Rand (Melvyn Douglas). Eve insists that he be taken to their mansion to be seen by the doctor (Richard Dysart) attending to Benjamin, and everyone mistakes his extremely simple, childlike statements to be profound declarations that influence even the President (Jack Warden). It’s a tremendous film by accomplished director Hal Ashby that’s both funny and scarily relevant.

War of the Worlds (2005; rewatch) — Ray Ferrier (Tom Cruise) is divorced and has his kids (Dakota Fanning and Justin Chatwin) for the weekend. Unfortunately, it happens to be the weekend that aliens come to Earth in a series of lightning bolts and power up giant robots that have been lying dormant beneath the ground. The aliens attack, and human weapons don’t seem to do any good. Ray must keep himself and his kids alive amid constant danger from the robots and panicking humans. It’s really not a very good movie, the people in it are annoying, and the ending, though faithful to the H.G. Wells story, is weak and unsatisfying.

Il Boom (aka The Boom; 1963; first-time watch) — Giovanni Alberti is in debt. He’s surrounded by wealthy people and wants to seem like he’s one of them, but he spends more than he makes and now a loan is coming due with no way for him to repay it. Then the wife of a very rich friend makes him an interesting offer that could mean the end to his financial trouble. From director The Bicycle Thief director Vittorio De Sica and Mafioso star Alberto Sordi, it’s a light, fun film that for some reason is only just now getting a release in the United States.

Landline (2017; first-time watch) — A family of 90s hipsters has to deal with a variety of problems of their own making as a result of their laissez faire approach to the world. The youngest daughter (Abby Quinn) is skipping school and getting high, and her parents (John Turturro and Edie Falco) aren’t doing anything about it. The older daughter (Jenny Slate) is bored with her fiancé (Jay Duplass) and cheats on him with someone else, just like her father cheating on her mother. It’s 2010s mumblecore set in the 1990s, and it’s as bland and uninspiring in this setting as it is in most other attempts. Full review at https://nawilson.com/2017/08/08/landline/.

Minority Report (2002; rewatch) — Murder is a thing of the past in Washington, D.C. after they get a trio of psychics who can see murders before they happen. John Anderton (Tom Cruise) leads a special pre-crime police force that intercepts the would-be murders before and prevent the crime. It works well until the psychics predict that Anderton will commit the next murder. He’s got to evade his peers so that he can figure things out before he’s convicted of a crime he’s sure he would never commit. It’s an interesting idea, but the futuristic computer interfaces are absurdly stupid, there are numerous obvious logic flaws, and it’s way too long.

Boardinghouse (1982; rewatch) — Jim (John Wintergate, who also wrote and directed the shot-on-video movie for which a 35mm print was inexplicably struck) inherits a house with a deadly past and turns it into a boarding house for attractive single young women without a great deal of modesty. Then accidents start happening and people start getting hurt, and then killed. It’s a unique and very amateur movie that is often delightfully insane. It’s quite a bit too long (and we watched the 98-minute version, which is a full hour shorter than the original director’s cut), but the absurd ending makes that easy to forgive.

Deep Blue Sea (1999; rewatch) — An underwater research facility has created a trio of super-smart sharks for use in a study hoping to cure Alzheimer’s disease. Thomas Jane is a shark wrangler with a past. Samuel L. Jackson is an investor who’s visiting to see their progress. Saffron Burrows and Stellan Skarsgård are scientists actually doing the research. Michael Rapaport is an engineer keeping things running. LL Cool J is a cook and former preacher. When a storm blows in and the sharks get agitated, things go bad for the people living in the facility. It’s like Jaws 3 meets Piranha meets Jurassic Park. It’s both terrible and amazing, and seeing it from a pristine 35mm print made for a great night.

Grand Hotel (1932; rewatch) — A number of guests interact at a German hotel in this star-studded classic. It features Greta Garbo as a dancer, who has fallen in love with a Baron (played by John Barrymore) who is broke but desperately trying to maintain his wealthy image. Joan Crawford is a stenographist who is hired by an arrogant businessman (Wallace Beery) and is sympathetic to one of his dying underlings (Lionel Barrymore). It’s very well done and packs a lot in, but isn’t quite mind blowing.

Brigsby Bear (2017; first-time watch) — James (Kyle Mooney) has lived all his life alone with his parents (Mark Hamill and Jane Adams) in a survival shelter, afraid to go out into the world without a protective mask. His main source of entertainment is the television show Brigsby Bear, and he’s obsessed with it. Then he finds that his entire life has been a lie. Full review at https://nawilson.com/2017/08/11/brigsby-bear/.

Cabaret (1972; rewatch) — Brian (Michael York) arrives in Berlin and finds a place to stay at a boarding house. Sally (Liza Minnelli) also lives there, just across the hall, and she works as a dancer at a popular cabaret. She’s a gold digger and tries to take her customers for all they’re worth, but she also falls for Brian, and soon they find themselves in a love triangle with a wealthy baron (Helmut Griem). Meanwhile, the Nazi party is on the rise and Berlin is becoming a less pleasant place to live. The film manages to be decent but would be far better without all the Nazi subplots.

Wet Hot American Summer (2001; rewatch) — It’s the last full day of the year at Camp Firewood, for both the staff (including Janeane Garofalo, Paul Rudd, Bradley Cooper, Amy Poehler, Michael Showalter, Michael Ian Black, Molly Shannon, Ken Marino, Jo Lo Truglio, Elizabeth Banks, Christopher Meloni, and others) and the campers. The counselors are all deeply flawed, and the director (Garofolo) is distracted by her infatuation with an astrophysics professor (David Hyde Pierce) who’s living near the camp. It’s a very funny satire of summer camp movies, even if not all the jokes work.

Minnie and Moskowitz (1971; first-time watch) — Minnie (Gena Rowlands) seems to attract some truly awful men, including a married asshole (John Cassavetes), a self-entitled businessman (Val Avery), and a psychotic, bipolar parking lot attendant named Seymour Moskowitz (Seymour Cassel) who alternates between affectionate and abusive. And yet Minnie keeps seeing them when she should be calling the police. It’s an absolutely wretched film with no redeeming value other than a short scene with Timothy Carey proclaiming how awful the world is.

Interstellar (2014; rewatch) — Earth is doomed, and there’s a secret plot to save mankind. Cooper (Matthew McConaughey) is a former NASA pilot who stumbles onto it and becomes the pilot for the mission, which also includes characters played by Anne Hathaway, Wes Bentley, and, David Gyasi. While his daughter Murph (played at different ages by Mackenzie Foy, Jessica Chastain, and Ellen Burstyn) teams up with NASA (led by Michael Caine), the astronauts fly through a wormhole to explore other potential worlds for humans to inhabit. It’s a good movie, but far too long, as evidenced by the hour-shorter cut that Master Pancake Theater mocked with great skill and hilarity.

The Great Dictator (1940; rewatch) — It’s the time between the two World Wars. While a dictator (a non-silent Charlie Chaplin, obviously portraying Hitler) rises to power, the Jews (including a barber also played by Chaplin, as well as his former wife Paulette Goddard) fear for their lives. It’s brilliant and funny and highly prophetic, as the film was released near the beginning of the real second War. If only the real conflict had ended as well as the film did.

Death Warrior (1984; first-time watch) — Murat (Turkish superstar Cüneyt Arkin) is a police officer with advanced martial arts skills. He’s on vacation, but that ends early when an evil ninja unleashes his well-trained clan of killers on the world, kidnapping a high-ranking officer. His boss just wants to pay the ransom and hope the bad guys will go away, but Murat knows the only way to win is to take them down. It’s a very short video (only 65 minutes) from the director and star of The Man Who Saves the World (aka Turkish Star Wars), but Death Warrior somehow manages to outshine it with virtually non-stop insanity and horrible subtitles.

Step (2017; first-time watch) — The Baltimore Leadership School for Young Women is about to graduate its first senior class with the goal of getting all sixty graduates accepted into college. They’ve also got a step dance team that is a popular extracurricular activity among the girls. This documentary focuses on those senior girls on the dance floor, in the classroom, and outside of school. It’s good at what it shows, even while suffering from puzzling omissions. Full review at https://nawilson.com/2017/08/14/step/.

Raiders of the Sacred Stone (aka Shalimar; 1978; first-time watch) — An old master thief (Rex Harrison) has brought four other top thieves (one of whom is a mute John Saxon who only communicates through sign language) to tell them that he has stolen a giant ruby, and to invite them to try to claim the title of world’s greatest thief by stealing it from him. They’ll have to defeat his advanced security system and outwit his army of devoted guards to do it. It’s a Bollywood attempt at making a movie suitable for American audiences, featuring American actors and a 90-minute cut with no musical numbers, but it was a flop because it’s a terrible movie. But it’s also terribly entertaining because of the ridiculous situations and characters, the defense measures, and the plans the thieves hatch to try to get around them.

Seven Hours to Judgment (1988; first-time watch) — Judge John Eden (Beau Bridges, who also directed the film) wants to be hard on crime, but his hands are tied by the system, so he must let a gang of murdering criminals go due to a lack of witnesses willing to testify against them. David Reardon (Ron Leibman) is the dead woman’s husband, and he doesn’t care about Eden’s excuses. In retaliation, Reardon kidnaps the judge’s wife Lisa (Julianne Phillips) and says he’ll kill her in seven hours unless John completes a scavenger hunt mission to come up with evidence to put the bad guys away. It’s clearly inspired by films like Death Wish and Vigilante, and while it’s not quite as good as those, it’s an interesting take that’s worth watching.

Unforgiven (1992; rewatch) — After a couple of asshole cowboys cut up a prostitute’s (Anna Levine) face, an asshole sheriff (Gene Hackman) lets them off with just a slap on the wrist. The prostitutes decide to put out their own bounty on the cowboys, offering $1000 to anyone who kills them. An unknown gunfighter (Jaimz Woolvett) who calls himself The Schofield Kid seeks out the meanest former killer (Clint Eastwood) he can find. He’s retired but needs the money, so he agrees, and they’re joined by his former partner (Morgan Freeman). It’s a modern western with a fair number of surprises, not least of which is how good it is.

Carrie (1976; rewatch) — Carrie White (Sissy Spacek) is an outcast at school, due in large part to her mother’s (Piper Laurie) extreme religious zealotry. The other students (including Nancy Allen, P.J. Soles, Amy Irving, and Edie McClurg) often make fun of her, and it doesn’t get any easier when she freaks out in the shower after getting her first period. Unfortunately for them, her first period also coincided with her discovering that she has telekinetic powers. Things don’t go well when she’s mistreated. One of the best horror movies of all time (along with Psycho, which was clearly a significant influence), and a film that doesn’t get old.

Death Becomes Her (1992; rewatch) — Helen (Goldie Hawn) and Madeline (Meryl Streep) have been rivals their entire life, particularly when it comes to men. Madeline always seems to lure Helen’s suitors away from her. When that happened with Helen’s fiancé Ernest (Bruce Willis), Helen goes crazy for a bit and lets herself get fat. But she pulls it together, gets fit, and becomes a successful writer. When it looks like Helen might succeed at winning Ernest back, Madeline looks to a mysterious woman (Isabella Rossellini) for help. It doesn’t reveal the true crux of the plot until fairly late in the movie, but it’s a fun watch throughout.

Bad Boy Bubby (1993; rewatch) — Bubby (Nicholas Hope) has lived alone with his mother (Claire Benito) in a small, dingy room for over thirty years. He’s never been outside because she tells him that the air is poisoned, and she wears a gas mask when she goes out to get supplies. Then one day, his father (Ralph Cotterill) shows up and everything changes. Bubby learns that the world isn’t poisoned and sets out on his own with limited vocabulary, no social skills, and no understanding of how the world works. It’s a highly unusual film that is occasionally difficult to watch, but it’s very well done and does not play out as you might expect.

Jezebel (1938; first-time watch) — Julie (Bette Davis) is in love with Preston (Henry Fonda), but she keeps pushing him away. He’s a successful banker, and on one trip to New York, he comes back with a new wife (Margaret Lindsay). Now Julie is extremely jealous and spiteful, and it doesn’t help things that looming war and raging yellow fever have both inflicted 1850s Louisiana. In the hands of lesser actors, this probably would have been just another boring period film, but Davis, Fonda, and director William Wyler transform it into something special.

The Hitman’s Bodyguard (2017; first-time watch) — Ryan Reynolds is a bodyguard who had a perfect record until he lost a client. Samuel L. Jackson is a professional hitman who’s agreed to testify against evil dictator Gary Oldman, and Ryan Reynolds is the only one who can protect him against Oldman’s henchmen. It’s actually a pretty entertaining movie if you don’t think about it too much. Full review at https://nawilson.com/2017/08/19/the-hitmans-bodyguard/.

Blonde Death (1984; rewatch) — Tammy has just moved to California with her father and stepmother. Then her dad has to go away on a trip, and Tammy’s stepmother tries to kill her. Gwen, a one-eyed lesbian tries to win her affection, but she only has eyes for Link, the escaped prisoner who held her hostage before falling in love. It’s a very angry movie that hates the world, but it’s unbelievably entertaining and makes very good use of its microscopic budget.

Ingrid Goes West (2017; first-time watch) — Ingrid (Aubrey Plaza) has problems with reality. She conflates social media likes with actual friendships. When Taylor (Elizabeth Olsen) makes the mistake of replying to one of her comments, Ingrid moves across the country and arranges a chance encounter that she hopes will turn into an actual friendship. It’s got a decent premise, but a pretty lackluster ending. https://nawilson.com/2017/08/19/ingrid-goes-west/

Logan Lucky (2017; first-time watch) — Jimmy Logan (Channing Tatum) is a former football player with a bum knee that just got him fired from his job as a construction worker and who is about to lose his daughter (Farrah Mackenzie) when his ex-wife (Katie Holmes) moves out of state. His brother (Adam Driver) is a one-armed veteran. They’ve got a plan to rob a NASCAR racetrack, but to pull it off, they’ll need help from a currently-incarcerated explosives expert (Daniel Craig) and his redneck relatives. It’s a reasonably fun heist film from Ocean’s Eleven director Steven Soderbergh that’s not as good as Eleven or Thirteen but isn’t nearly as bad as Twelve. Full review at https://nawilson.com/2017/08/21/logan-lucky/.

No Country for Old Men (2007; rewatch) — Llewelyn Moss (Josh Brolin) comes across the remains of a drug deal gone bad and ends up with a bag containing two million dollars and the laser-focused killer Anton Chigurh (Javier Bardem) on his trail. Local sheriff Ed Bell (Tommy Lee Jones) and bounty hunter Carson Wells (Woody Harrelson) are after both Moss and Chigurh while Moss tries to save himself and keep his wife (Kelly Macdonald) out of it. It’s a tremendous film in every aspect.

The Hudsucker Proxy (1994; rewatch) — After founder Waring Hudsucker (Charles Durning) commits suicide, the remaining board members (led by Paul Newman) at Hudsucker Industries are so terrified at the prospect of his majority stake in the company will be made available to public traders that they want to tank the company so they can buy all that stock for themselves and retain control of the company. So they promote a new hire from the mailroom (Tim Robbins) to be the new president. Even though an investigative reporter (Jennifer Jason Leigh) wants to take him down, and even though he has an idiotic idea for a new product, things don’t go quite as well as the board hoped. It’s a hilarious neo-noir comedy with a fantastical art deco feel.

The Man Who Wasn’t There (2001; rewatch) — Ed Crane (Billy Bob Thornton) is a quiet barber who works in his brother-in-law’s (Michael Badalucco) shop. His wife Doris (Frances McDormand) works as an accountant under Dave Brewster (James Gandolfini) at a successful department store. When a fast-talking entrepreneur (Jon Polito) comes to town looking for an investor in a get-rich-quick scheme, Ed decides to get the money by anonymously blackmailing Dave by threatening to expose his affair with Doris. Unfortunately, things don’t go as planned. It’s a very strong black-and-white neo-noir crime drama that also features Tony Shalhoub, Richard Jenkins, and Scarlett Johansson.

The Big Lebowski (1998; rewatch) — Lazy bowling enthusiast Jeff “The Dude” Lebowski (Jeff Bridges) is mistaken for another man with the same name (David Huddleston), who happens to be a millionaire with a hot young wife (Tara Reid). And when that wife is kidnapped and held for ransom, The Big Lebowski hires The Dude to help make the exchange, and The Dude enlists his friends, the hot-headed Walter (John Goodman) and the dim-witted Donny (Steve Buscemi), to help. It’s an amazing comedy with a great cast that also includes Julianne Moore, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Peter Stormare, John Turturro, Sam Elliott, Ben Gazzara, John Polito, and Flea.

Inside Llewyn Davis (2013; rewatch) — Llewyn Davis (Oscar Isaac) is a struggling musician, a mooch, an asshole, and otherwise an absolute failure as a human being. He’s even less successful now that he’s a solo act after the death of his former partner, but really the vast majority of his problems are completely of his own doing. It’s littered with terrible characters and agonizing music, and it’s so unpleasant to watch that it would be hard to believe that it came from the usually great Coen brothers if they weren’t also responsible for the even worse O Brother, Where Art Thou?

Good Time (2017; first-time watch) — Connie (Robert Pattinson) brings his brother Nick (Benny Safdie) on a bank robbery. But Nick has a mental handicap, and he doesn’t handle it well when things don’t go quite as planned. Connie runs away faster than Nick does, and Nick gets caught. Now Connie needs to bail him out but doesn’t have the money, so he needs to get creative.

The World’s End (2013; rewatch) — Gary King (Simon Pegg) wants to get his friends (Nick Frost, Martin Freeman, Paddy Considine, and Eddie Marsan) back together to re-attempt a twelve-pub challenge that they tried several years ago. None of them are very enthusiastic about it, or about seeing Gary in particular, but they relent, head back to their hometown, and give it a go. But the town has changed a lot, and not all for the better. It’s a decent movie, but definitely the weakest of Edgar Wright’s “cornetto trilogy”.

Effects (1980; rewatch) — A small group of people are making a low-budget independent horror film in the woods. Most of them are friends, but the camera operator hasn’t worked with them before. By the time he realizes that there’s more going on than what he’s shooting, it’s too late. Featuring special effects by Tom Savini, who also appears in the film, it’s not the kind of film you’d expect from the premise, but it’s done well.

The Jerk (1979; rewatch) — After learning that he’s adopted, Navin R. Johnson (Steve Martin) sets off to seek his fortune. After a brief stint working at a gas station, he joins the circus and finds the love of his life. Then, he strikes it rich and becomes a jerk. It’s nonstop hilarity with some genuinely touching moments as well.

Hot Fuzz (2007; rewatch) — Sergeant Nicholas Angel (Simon Pegg) is too gung-ho a police officer for London, so they send him off to the small town of Sandford, which is consistently voted one of the best villages in all of the UK. He soon finds that things work differently there and that the police department (led by Jim Broadbent, and featuring Nick Frost, Paddy Considine, Olivia Colman, and others) is often called upon for more mundane tasks like capturing an escaped swan. But Nicholas is convinced that there’s more happening than people let on and that his fellow police officers know about. It’s a terrific mix of action and comedy in a feature-length homage to other action comedies.

Star Trek: First Contact (1996; first-time watch) — After getting defeated in a 24th-century battle, the Borg (an alien race with a collective consciousness that assimilates the consciousnesses of all of the civilizations they defeat) travel back in time to the middle of the 21st century to try to prevent Zefram Cochran (James Cromwell) from inventing the warp drive and launching humans into interstellar exploration. The crew of the USS Enterprise (the Next Generation crew, that is) follow them back in time to try to ensure that history repeats itself. It’s a mediocre story that isn’t helped at all by terrible acting, crappy special effects, and a total lack of logic and common sense.

Ticks (1993; rewatch) — A couple of adults (Peter Scolari and Rosalind Allen) take a group of inner-city kids (Seth Green, Alfonso Ribeiro, Ami Dolenz, Ray Oriel, Virginya Keehne, and Dina Dayrit) to a camp to help them solve all of their problems. Unfortunately, the area is overrun with people growing marijuana, including Jarvis (Clint Howard), who juices them up with steroids, and Sir and Jerry (Barry Lynch and Michael Medeiros) who use violence to keep the sheriff (Rance Howard) off their backs. Then Jarvis’s special fertilizer starts to create giant, aggressive ticks and things get even worse for everyone. It’s not a great movie, but it’s fun and stupid, and that’s what you want from this kind of movie.

Final Flesh (2009; rewatch) — A mother, father, and daughter are trapped together during the detonation of an atomic bomb. What follows is an indescribable comedy masquerading as a pseudo-pretentious art film with an origin story that is even crazier than the movie itself. Made in four parts by four separate casts and crews accustomed to making porn-for-hire movies who clearly have no idea what to make of this non-porn film.

Columbus (2017; first-time watch) — Casey (Haley Lu Richardson) is a self-taught architecture enthusiast who has chosen to stay in the relatively small city of Columbus, Indiana with her mom rather than pursue goals elsewhere like all of her friends. Jin (John Cho) is the son of a famous architect who was slated to give a talk in Columbus before collapsing and falling into a coma. They become friends and, often begrudgingly, help each other work through their issues. It’s a pretty minimal film with slow pacing, but surprisingly good. Full review at https://nawilson.com/2017/09/01/columbus/.